


I Can't Fix You(But I'll Always Support You)Saiouma

by GrimRaven



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Danganronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, danganronpa v3 - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, M/M, bxb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24941266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrimRaven/pseuds/GrimRaven
Summary: After having a mental breakdown, Kokichi hasn't left his house for a week. He's dealing with his parents arguing, guilt from recent things and an incident long ago, and bullying.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Oumasai - Relationship, saiouma - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 103





	I Can't Fix You(But I'll Always Support You)Saiouma

**Author's Note:**

> TW:Depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, neglect, bullying
> 
> I DO NOT HAVE DEPRESSION OR ANY MENTAL ILLNESS, I did research on depression before writing but this may not be very good representation. I do not mean to misrepresent anyone. If you have any advice on writing depressed characters, angst, or writing in general it is welcome and appreciated.

Kokichi lay in bed, dirty with sweat and dust. His hair was a mess, his clothes were dirty and mismatched, and he kinda stunk. He didn't care though, or even notice. He'd been lying in his own sweat and tears for about a week now, aside from occasionally getting up to use the restroom and get food or water. He only got up about twice a day though, ignoring his hunger and thirst. He didn't care if it was unhealthy. He didn't care if he got sick and died. He just didn't care. In fact, he welcomed death.

His reasoning?

He was just, tired of it all.

School dragged on too long, it was torture, he was bullied and ignored, and home was no better. His parents were too caught up with their arguments to pay any notice to the scars on his body, or even that he hadn't left the house in a week. They ignored him... And why wouldn't they? He was nothing significant. He was useless, dumb, annoying, untalented, ugly...

And he did get his brother killed, after all. The only person who truly cared for him...

 _No_ , he thought. _I can't even love myself... Nobody could ever care._

But he knew, despite his dark thoughts, that that wasn't really true. If he voiced those thoughts, there would be people hurt from those words. That would fill him with guilt. _More_ guilt than he already had. He treated others horribly.

He was a pathological liar, annoying, mean...

Why did people even put up with him?

He let out a choked sob, lifting himself out of his bed and scratching at his arms.

He needed relief...

Pain...

He stood up, legs weak from hardly being used, and made his way towards his drawers. Shuffling through his clothes, he found what he wanted, a blade.

He shakily took it out, adjusting his clothes to make his belly easy to reach. He looked at it in disgust, he was so boney...

He brought the blade to his skin near his hip bone, sliding it across his skin. He usually cut or burned his legs, but he didn't feel much pain there anymore. The harm had messed up his nerves, and he desperately needed pain.

He winced at the feeling, but still found a bit of relief in it. Sure, it wasn't the best way to cope, but it helped him in a way. _He_ always told Kokichi there were other ways to cope, but _he_ didn't understand...

Without realizing, Kokichi was crying again. Not because of the pain he was inflicting on himself, but guilt.

He promised _him_ that he'd stop, but he broke that promise...

He felt guilty...

He was trying to stop lying, but instead he lied to the person he cared for most.

But despite the guilt, he continued.

Despite how much he cared for _him_ , he wouldn't stop this. It was addictive and pain-relieving, even if it caused a different sort of pain.

The small teenager began to shake, feeling lightheaded, and set the razorblade down. He ran into the bathroom and began to wash away the blood before grabbing a towel and pressing it against the wounds. He didn't realize how deep he went...

It wasn't like he was going to die, he knew that. He'd mistakenly cut too much before and ended up fine, but this wasn't a nice feeling...

He stumbled back to his bed, grabbing his phone. He felt like he needed someone, and he knew his parents--despite how neglectful and seemingly uncaring they were towards him--would probably just blame themselves if he confessed his emotions to them.

He opened his contacts, clicking on the most recent text.

_Shumai 💕_  
_Hey, are you ok? You haven't been to school this week._

_Shumai 💕_  
_Please answer, I'm worried about you..._

_Shumai 💕_  
_If you wanna be left alone that's fine, but please text or call me soon. I care about you._

Kokichi sighed, looking at the messages guiltily. He hadn't been on his phone much for awhile, so he didn't even see the messages...

_ Me _  
_Please come over_

_Shumai 💕_  
_Are you okay? Heading over now_

That was a quick response... Was he waiting for him to text?

_ Me _  
_Thank you Shu_

No response.

He must've been hurrying to come over...

Kokichi nuzzled his face into his pillow, trying to fight back the thoughts in his mind.

It only seemed like a few minutes before Shuichi arrived, letting himself into the house through Kokichi's window. He'd done this before, and it wasn't difficult. It was only a few feet off the ground.

The smaller boy turned to him, smiling weakly. Shuichi sat beside him, opening his arms to offer a hug. Kokichi gladly accepted, leaning into his boyfriend's chest.

"Kokichi... I was so worried something happened, why didn't you answer me? Or come to school?" Shuichi questioned, slight anger in his voice.

Kokichi pulled away, looking down.

"I'm sorry, Shu... I just..." Tears welled up in the small teen's eyes. The taller male's expression softened.

"No, it's fine..." He sighed, "I'm sorry I sounded angry..."

Kokichi shook his head a bit, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry, I just don't have any motivation..." He mumbled, "the yelling won't stop. It's here and at school and I just-" he broke off into tears again, biting his lip. "I want it to stop... My parents argue, the teachers and Momo-m...My bully shout at me when I go to school, and you, Amami-kun, Gonta, and Akamatsu-san are the only ones who care at all... Last time I saw Kiibo he got angry at me for making a 'robophobic' comment and he hasn't talked to me sense..." He spoke, continuing to vent out everything that was going on.

Shuichi felt helpless as he stared at the smaller male. He would offer his house, but his uncle probably wouldn't let him stay longer than a week, and he wasn't a psychologist...

He just settled on hugging him, kissing his forehead and rubbing his back comfortingly.

"Koki, p-please, g-get a therapist..." Shuichi spoke softly. "I'll always, always be here to support you, I p-promise. B-but I want you to get better and I-I can't help you like that. I'll pay, you can stay with me as long as my Uncle will allow, but that may not be long... I'll do whatever else I can, but I don't know how to help you..."

Kokichi hugged him back, nodded into his chest.

"That's enough, thank you Shu..." He spoke shakily. "Please, take me to your house or stay over... I don't want to be alone right now..."

Shuichi stared at him, pain in his eyes at the sight of his boyfriend crying, "you can stay with me. I'll give you a piggy back ride if you want... We'll talk to may uncle in the morning, okay?"

Kokichi nodded, "thank you..."

They sat there for awhile longer before Shuichi got up, helping Kokichi and making his way to the window. They both left, the taller teenager having to help his partner out the window and onto his back.

"Kokichi..." Shuichi spoke quietly as they walked, "it hurts to know that I can't fix you, that's just reality, but I'll always support you... Okay? I'm always here for you..." Kokichi didn't reply, too tired to think up a response. Shuichi just continued, though talking more to himself than the other male. "Everything will turn out fine, I promise..."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it was short. I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
